Awww C'mon.

I think it’s no secret: Alex and I are not the biggest Baseball fans.  This is probably made apparent by the fact that a couple months went by without a posting.  Granted, at our pace, you aren’t missing much.  However, the fact remains that we both pass the time while the Cubs/Sox are on by reading everything we can on our two favorites: Basketball and Football.  I’ve had a lot of free time lately, so I’ve been hitting it harder than ever.

And now, I have a beef.  Nay, many beefs.

So much beef, in fact, that I had to say something.  Because of the immense amounts of stinky beef I have with ESPN and it’s general reporting standards.  The stories it choses to cover, and the information used to report them.  I have an Insider account, and use it too much.  I watch Sportscenter and other ESPN shows when I’m watching TV, and I work in a place with ESPN on most of the day.  Basically I’ll be the first to know when Ben Roethlisberger gets suspended another 5 games for not cleaning up his dogs poop.  And I’ll hear about it.   FIVE TIMES A DAY.  While this is definitely not entertaining, I don’t really hold it against ESPN.  There isn’t enough happening in the major sports to warrant all new content 24 hours a day.

My real problem is when they run away with a story.  Like Big Ten Expansion rumors.  They started off as just that: you’d see an article pop up here and there: “Big Ten thinks about expansion.  Like they probably do every year, but we need more web content!”  But at the end of the season, an article claimed Joe-Pa supported it, so I guess it made sense.  Then more of these articles started to circulate, with different quotes from Big Ten reps giving empty statements on the topic: “Yes, we will discuss it.”   After a few of these had been written by bloggers and the like, all of a sudden ESPN flares up!  ”Holy shit, could this really be happening?!”  And then they have the balls to write another article about the increase in number of expansion articles.  Not only did they write about their own gossip-train, but they went a step further to say that this meant expansion had a chance. Imagine that.

Then come the talk about which schools would fit best, which schools would benefit, would not, square pegs round holes etc etc.  There was real talk about the Big East literally “falling apart.”  While insanely flattering to those who know that the Big Ten is the best conference in the land, that thought is pretty ludicrous.  THEN a number of stories broke saying that 4 schools had actually been offered!  Notre Dame, Rutgers, Nebraska, and Mizzou/Syracuse/Pitt.  Then the next day all of those schools denied being offered.  But ESPN claimed a source had told them.

Having an Insider’s Account has taught me that a source is usually a text from someone within the organization.  Just a text from some dude who works there.  Or, if you like, “like, I totally know this guy who works there.  I’ll just t-x-t him to get the haps.  OMG B-10 made an offer omfgomfg!”. Which I do.  But that is just the tip of my hate-berg.

I am done reading about Lebron James’s contract expring in 6 weeks.  You hear me?  Done.  Not a single person on this Earth (with a blog) knows what Lebron James is going to do.   Nobody can penetrate the complicated psychosis that exist in the mind of a man who has been revered as a god, a savior, the best since he graduated high school. A man who has created his own persona: the King.  A man who, according to some ESPN articles, even answers his fucking phone as “The King.”  He does this WITHOUT A CHAMPIONSHIP RING, I might add, and only 2 MVP awards.  Now, this is not to say I don’t respect the player immensely.  He is simply tremendous, and makes the game of basketball look effortless.  However, it is no secret that Lebron has one true love over basketball, and that is Lebron James.

While only Lebron knows where he’ll actually end up come next season, the rest of the world can tell you where he’s NOT going: THE FINALS.

While this post does bash ESPN and their analysts for some spotty journalism, I do want to make it clear that I admire and respect these people and thank them dearly for all that they do.  While these things I am writing about are annoyances, they are simply that, and can be simply solved by turning off the damn TV.  I have, however, been noticing a trend lately.  I just hope it doesn’t become common practice, as I do enjoy reading most of the real articles.

So Charlie Weis has gotten everyone into a huff again.  Why not, right? He’s a lame duck head coach – he’s been fired but, for some reason, people keep interviewing him.  If you continue to put a microphone in front of someone who has nothing to talk about, eventually they’re going to say something stupid.  I think this was a last ditch attempt by Charlie Weis to be remembered for something other than his coaching record.

Charlie Weis? Who? Oh that guy who said Pete Carroll was living with a grad student in Malibu?

Anyways, if you get all this media coverage just for slandering the dynasty USC head coach, then Paul and I should have been famous years ago.  I once claimed that he bribed incoming freshman prospects with coke. Paul’s fantasy team name makes… dubious claims about him.

Also, for the record, I’m not saying Pete Carroll is not living with a grad student in Malibu.  Maybe Charlie Weis was a private investigator the whole time – he had to infiltrate college football to find out about Pete Carroll’s infidelities and reveal them to the world.  Maybe it’s all the prescription pain medications. See – we should be famous.

-Alex

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